There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
i wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what i long for


When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray
And i want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
i still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So i whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tounge,
knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me


Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

-Brooke Fraser

i'm definitely going through a dry/scary time in my life. But wow.. He is still so faithful. 

 1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

 2 in you I trust, O my God. 
       Do not let me be put to shame, 
       nor let my enemies triumph over me.

 3 No one whose hope is in you 
       will ever be put to shame, 
       but they will be put to shame 
       who are treacherous without excuse.

 4 Show me your ways, O LORD, 
       teach me your paths;

 5 guide me in your truth and teach me, 
       for you are God my Savior, 
       and my hope is in you all day long.

This is the cry of my heart.

Psalms 25

God is changing my heart.

 He's showing me the power of prayer and showing me what that looks like in my life. 

i've been humbled. i asked for humility and i am in the process...

i had the privilege of hearing the author of "Red Moon Rising" speak today. i'm blown away. i think God is starting something in me right now that will change my life forever.

i can't wait. 

Satan frustrates me.

Makes me feel so 

inadequate 

unworthy

incapable.

i don't want to believe them. He knows though... he knows so well how to push us to our breaking point. He's devious... 

i can't get over the grace of God... i think about it all the time. 

He gives me my purpose. 

Whom have i in heaven but you!

"I walk before God simply, in faith, with humility, and with love. I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him. I hope that when I have done what I can, He will do with me what He pleases."  ... Brother Lawrence i have been reading Practicing His Presence. i feel an odd yet exciting urgency to live what Paul said in  1 Corinthians 2:2: For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And again i am so thankful for the grace of God.

i have read 1 John about three times in the last two weeks.

Each time there is a verse or two that GRABS my attention!

This time it was these two:

1 John 5:21:

 21 Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.

and 1 John 3:20:

20 Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

i love 5:21 because it is a continual reminder to have NO idols. For some reason it's easy for me to put things before Christ in my life even though i know ultimately He is the only thing that will truly fulfill me.

i love 3:20 because it's helpful to me, being a girl :) 

Even though i am NOT an outwardly emotional girl i still tend to rely on my feelings a lot... my emotions a lot. i LOVE this verse. God is greater than my feelings! It's encouraging. 

He is so constant. So faithful! 

SO GOOD.

p.s. http://www.myspace.com/cameronernst

 ( this is my friend cameron... you should listen to his music. He's good and i'm so proud of him!!!)

dang you emily.

The Game
Here are the rules:
1. the rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. each player answers the questions about himself or herself.
3. at the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. ten years ago I was doing...
well i was ten years old... this means i had no life, i played in the ditch outside my house all the time and i was a major tom-boy.

2. Five Things on Today's To Do List:
1. fly home.
2. spend much-needed time with my Jesus.
3. pass out cheap gifts from cali.
4. get sick from being on a plane.
5. drink cooooffee!!!

3. Things I'd do if I were a billionaire
i would pay off my loans... and give money away. and be cool... wow, these are the worst answers EVER. i hate this game.


4. Three Bad Habits...
1. i twirl my hair constantly.
2. i am a VERY aggressive driver.
3. i say about three phrases over and over without realizing it... it's annoying.


5 Places you've lived:
Andover, KS
Manhattan, KS
Overland Park, KS
North Carolina
Irving, TX
Baker, OR
Roach, MO

6. 5 jobs I've had in life:
1. JCPenney (barf)
2. Vic's Popcorn (best job ever)
3. OEIE (barf)
4. Adrian's Cafe (loved it... untill it got creepy.)
5. NewSpring Church (liked it)

Wow... i have no life.
But i did go to disneyland today.
woo