Wait. . . December?
Is this a joke?
i mean, really? December?
Things i'm excited for:
My last final.
Going to KC for fun times.
SS '08 reunion!
Visits in Wichita from special people.
i glanced at this verse today and was convicted.
i want to wait in great expectation.
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.
to receive power and wealth and wisdom
and might and honor and glory and blessing!"
Much like how Ella Fitzgerald shared w/ her
adoring audience that she had "Georgia on her mind"
i've recently had this verse on my mind.
Wow, i'm the worst blogger ever.
My posts are ultra-lame.
I have no good apart from you.
But I keep running after broken cisterns that never satisfy.
Won't you open up my soul?
Preserve me oh God, write Your word upon my heart.
I have no good apart from you.
Your streams of mercy, You're never ceasing.
Your streams of mercy, they have no end.
-Preserve Me by Jordan Johnson
This weekend was so greatly needed and so encouraging.
i love the Lord's timing in all it's perfectness.
But Christ is all & is in all.
"Simplicity, purity and obedience to the Word will leave us
weak and powerless in the world's eyes because
we no longer can call upon our possessions and
privileged position as security."
I am learning a lot about simplicity
and what the looks like as a follower of Christ.
Also, what that should look like in my life.
I don't want to count on anything but Christ
for my security.
He is teaching me what this looks like.
i am praying so hard.
Lord, wake me up!!!
i realized this weekend that have mentally checked out on school.
i have an intense case of senioritis.
i love manhattan.
i love my community here.
For some reason i'm just ready to graduate!!!
i know i'm here for a reason,
seizing each moment is a must.
Help me Lord.
Because well i mean number 1, she is a very talented musician...
But the real reason is i REALLY love Ray LaMontagne's
song Meg White from his new album.
It's my fav.
So be aware, one day i may legally change my name.
Aside from that specifically, i wish people would
realize that i'd rather be called Meg than Meghan.
So there you have it.
have something huge in common:
So Saturday at 10:00PM we decided to head to Colorado.
Eventually at 11:45PM we got on the road.
And we drove on I-70.
Went to far.
Finally made it to highway 40.
Stopped the car on highway 40 at about 3:45AM.
Got out. Laid a blanket in the highway.
Looked at stars for thirty minutes.
**The most amazingly beautiful stars i have ever seen in my life. There were no cars, no lights anywhere. i saw 4 shooting stars. It was exhilarating.**
Got back in the car.
Made it to Colorado Springs at 7:00AM.
Went to Pikes Peak.
Took a nap in a park.
Took three hours from Salina to Manhattan.
24-hour trip to Colorado and back.
Totally worth it.
3When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?
Today i was cleaning off my desk and was looking at some notes from Ichthus that i jotted down a few weeks ago... now, i am a doodler. i doodle no matter what.
Today the Lord used my doodle to speak to me!!!
For some reason i had written out this:
And it had a box around it.
Come! i know, so simple.
i know, i already know this!
But recently, i can't explain it... it's been hard to approach the Lord.
So i laughed to myself when i read this and i'm thanking God for His grace.
My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away, for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth ... fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.
Song of Solomon 2:11-13
He already fought death for me.
Ahhh... i am refreshed.
So Jesus, thanks for letting me doodle in Ichthus... just don't tell John Schwartz
Sometime i get really frustrated with myself.
Frustration like this happens because i have such a restless soul.
i am sure that somehow and someway that Lord will use this in my life in amazing ways.
At times like these, however, it just stinks.
So on these days when i wake up and the first thing i desire to do is buy a plane ticket to some far away place, i am trying my darned hardest to put my hands out in full surrender.
"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
i am going to begin praying that i'll once again have the faith of a child.
Trusting that God's ways are always good.
Having faith the Lord will provide!
On a similar note, thank God for the Konza.
Prayer is Beautiful.
The Lord's children are
reconciled and redeemed.
You were as I
Tempted and trialed
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
That got me. i needed that...
Then to hear the words:
"Oh Praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead."
Yes, the Lord showed up. The Spirit of the Lord is real. i know this.
On a very different note...
there's a new band causing quite the ruckus in Manhattan.
i can really and truly feel it hurting.
For many reasons.
*Sometimes people don't give me grace. blah.
*i want a 4.0 and that means hard work. blah.
*i definitely hate letting people down. blah.
i see how He is my grace. How he doesn't lead me into temptation.
And how He is my constant. And i truly believe this.
My soul is alive when I am in His presence.
When I choose to see Him in, through and around me, I become so alive.
And I can't explain it any other way.
Because i have a reason.
Love wakes me up.
I find there is, there is no other
All the other Lovers fade away
Only YOU can satisfy
And happy am I, to live a hungry life
And blessed am I, to thirst
My desire for You, it is my gift within
I am blessed, I am blessed among men!
we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head,
that is, Christ.
The Lord has been calling me to wake up.
To be bold for Him.
To speak truth...even when it's scary because it usually is.
To live the love that's been given to me.
And to consider all as loss but to follow Him.
I have called you by name, you are mine.
2When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
3For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
2 in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.
4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
This is the cry of my heart.
"I walk before God simply, in faith, with humility, and with love. I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him. I hope that when I have done what I can, He will do with me what He pleases."
i have been reading Practicing His Presence. i feel an
odd yet exciting urgency to live what Paul said in
1 Corinthians 2:2: For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.
And again i am so thankful for the grace of God.
21 Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.
and 1 John 3:20:
20 Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.
i love 5:21 because it is a continual reminder to have NO idols. For some reason it's easy for me to put things before Christ in my life even though i know ultimately He is the only thing that will truly fulfill me.
i love 3:20 because it's helpful to me, being a girl :)
Even though i am NOT an outwardly emotional girl i still tend to rely on my feelings a lot... my emotions a lot. i LOVE this verse. God is greater than my feelings! It's encouraging.
He is so constant. So faithful!
( this is my friend cameron... you should listen to his music. He's good and i'm so proud of him!!!)
Here are the rules:
1. the rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. each player answers the questions about himself or herself.
3. at the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
1. ten years ago I was doing...
well i was ten years old... this means i had no life, i played in the ditch outside my house all the time and i was a major tom-boy.
2. Five Things on Today's To Do List:
1. fly home.
2. spend much-needed time with my Jesus.
3. pass out cheap gifts from cali.
4. get sick from being on a plane.
5. drink cooooffee!!!
3. Things I'd do if I were a billionaire
i would pay off my loans... and give money away. and be cool... wow, these are the worst answers EVER. i hate this game.
4. Three Bad Habits...
1. i twirl my hair constantly.
2. i am a VERY aggressive driver.
3. i say about three phrases over and over without realizing it... it's annoying.
5 Places you've lived:
Overland Park, KS
6. 5 jobs I've had in life:
1. JCPenney (barf)
2. Vic's Popcorn (best job ever)
3. OEIE (barf)
4. Adrian's Cafe (loved it... untill it got creepy.)
5. NewSpring Church (liked it)
Wow... i have no life.
But i did go to disneyland today.
i mean seriously... apparently the use of lip gloss can increase the risk of cancer.
This is scary for multiple reasons.
One reason is this:
** My lips are not small. Not only does it take more to cover my lips, but i do so enjoy using lip gloss as well. So now not only am i increasing my chance for cancer simply because i love it, but since my lips are so large i use tons.
Second reason is this:
**Doesn't help at ALL that my favorite song happens to be entitled "Lip Gloss." So now i'm not only concerned for my lips, but my ears as well. i'm now listening to the lyrics "lip gloss." Here's an excerpt:
"Mac mac Lorial yep 'cause I'm worth it
Love the way I put it on so perfect
Wipe the corners of my mouth so I work it
When I walk down the hallway they can't say nothing
Oh oh oh my lips so luscious
The way I spice it up with the mac mac brushes
Lorial got the most watermelon crushes
That's probably is the why these boys got crushes…
'Cause My lip gloss
Is popping is popping
Is popping is popping
'Cause my lip gloss
Is popping is popping
Is popping is popping"
And this is why today, my realization is:
i am a lot closer to dying than i thought i was.
19Do not put out the Spirit's fire;
23May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
This excites me.
Test everything. Hold on to the good.
Hives, itching, or eczema
Nausea and vomiting, stomach cramps, indigestion, or diarrhea
Swelling of the eyelids, face, lips, tongue, throat, or other parts of the body (called angioedema)
Wheezing, nasal congestion, or trouble breathing
Lightheadedness, dizziness, or fainting
Dizziness, lightheadedness, or loss of consciousness
Blue color to the skin and nails
i ate a mango popsicle. Probably the best thing i've ever eaten. Real mango.
i woke up the next morning and i thought i was dying.
No, i am not joking.
Yes, this is a true story.
i've had a lot of these symptoms... i'm still waiting til my skin turns blue. So until that happens, i guess i'll just keep eating mangos. mangoes? mangos... i think it's mangoes.
i'm sorry... i couldn't help but post this. poor kid.
i mean think about that! He loves that we have dreams, goals, aspirations.
i have big dreams. i have faith that they will happen.
Jesus chooses to reveal Himself SO much through nature.
i want to be selfless.
i want to be stretched.
i want to be broken.
these are SCARY things to pray for! But i am so confident that there are so many things Christ wants to do in my life, and i am nothing but excited about them!
i miss Manhattan soooo much. i cannot wait to be back!
i also can't wait for actual spring weather. it'll be great when it happens :)
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
i'll admit it, life is pretty easy right now...
a friend of mine today
Christianity: It's a religion so f*** you and your make pretend "relationship"
think about that.
That's just convicting to me to actually live out what i'm "preaching," you know?
i don't know, it was powerful to me...
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:21-24
Funny how i find myself becoming anxious about things so quickly in life. i've been doing this great Bible study. One week we talked about the ways in which we give things to God.
For me the way i do this is i give things to God, then i take them back. But i know full and well that Christ knows exactly what He's doing in every area of my life!
i learned Phil. 4:6 & 7 last week... more like had it refreshed. (When you grow up in AWANAS you feel like you know the whole Bible. haha)
It was a great refresher though!
Be anxious about nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving present your requests to God. Then the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
i am so encouraged by this. And even with everything crazy that's going on in my life i am so at peace. i know that God will make happen what He wants to happen. And when He wants it to happen. Wow. God is so good!
I want to trust Christ! I want to trust that I will:
Let me leave with these lyrics from Hillsong... AMAZING!!!
There are just some verses that bring comfort. It's just a good promise, you know? i've been so encouraged lately. Which is interesting. i'm not surrounded by many Christians. i work at the restaurant with so many non-Christians. It's so challenging to me to live for Christ and strive to be a great example. It's so hard! But wow... yesterday, God was everywhere. It was just one of those days where i could pracitcally feel the presence of God! So, so cool. It's just so cool too how Spring makes me happy :) Shows growth in the trees, flowers, grass, etc... and reminds me how much i want to grow in Christ. But i'm so ready... so excited to keep pursuing Him!
Random prayer that i thought was AWESOME!
O, Lord, whom to know is to love, I beseech you to increase in me the knowledge of your truth. In the truth which I know, establish me; whatever I ought to know teach me; in truths in which I waiver, strengthen me; in things in which I am deceived, correct me; in things hard to understand, guide me; and from untruths, deliverance. Send out your light and your truth, and let them lead me, until I know as I am known.Amen.
Common Book of Prayer
He is so patient with me. How He does it, i do not know! i got so down this weekend. Because i see things i'm missing out on, because life is so different from how i imagined it. But i have so much to be thankful for. i do.
i love people. i would love to sit down with a stranger everyday and get to know them. Not just a casual How are you? But a true conversation. i'm genuine in my love toward people... maybe that's hard to tell. i'm not sure.
Oh... there's a new piercing i want really bad. It might be too weird though!