so much bigger.

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior

Habakkuk 3:17 & 18

i'll admit it, life is pretty easy right now...

Yes, there have been situations lately that

have REALLY had me trust God and have

total faith in Him, but honestly, when times get rough,

which they will,

i want to be able to be joyful in God my Savior.

i want to be so grateful and soak in so much

of Christ now so when those tough times come

i can really be reminded of His faithfulness

does this even make sense?

i don't even know...

a friend of mine today

saw this shirt:

Christianity: It's a religion so f*** you and your make pretend "relationship"

think about that.

That's just convicting to me to actually live out what i'm "preaching," you know?
i don't know, it was powerful to me...

my portion.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:21-24



Funny how i find myself becoming anxious about things so quickly in life. i've been doing this great Bible study. One week we talked about the ways in which we give things to God.
For me the way i do this is i give things to God, then i take them back. But i know full and well that Christ knows exactly what He's doing in every area of my life!
i learned Phil. 4:6 & 7 last week... more like had it refreshed. (When you grow up in AWANAS you feel like you know the whole Bible. haha)
It was a great refresher though!
Be anxious about nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving present your requests to God. Then the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
i am so encouraged by this. And even with everything crazy that's going on in my life i am so at peace. i know that God will make happen what He wants to happen. And when He wants it to happen. Wow. God is so good!

i just want to trust you, Jesus.

i drove home in the thickest fog of my life...

Scary thick fog. Couldn't see but 3 of those little

dash lines separating the two lanes.

Then i almost hit 2 deer... it was scary...

i saw God in it though. Teaching me a lesson. He's constantly teaching me! I couldn't be more thankful. My trip just reminded me of faith. There are a million things going on in my life right now. Just so many areas where i have to trust Christ. i mean of course i don't have to, but does it ever make sense not to trust Him? NO! i could not see through this fog to see if i needed to turn soon, if the road was just straight, if there were deer in the road... haha. i just literally had to trust.

I want to trust Christ! I want to trust that I will:

*be re-admitted into K-State

*seize the opportunities that i am given this summer

*get all my housing situations worked out

*live every day for Him!

i just want to have complete trust. faith. hope.

It's possible!

Let me leave with these lyrics from Hillsong... AMAZING!!!

"Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I walk from nothing to earth into Eternity"

BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS!!!

Peace i leave with you;

my peace i give to you;

not as the world gives,

do i give to you.

Let not your heart be troubled,

nor let it be fearful.

John 14:27

There are just some verses that bring comfort. It's just a good promise, you know? i've been so encouraged lately. Which is interesting. i'm not surrounded by many Christians. i work at the restaurant with so many non-Christians. It's so challenging to me to live for Christ and strive to be a great example. It's so hard! But wow... yesterday, God was everywhere. It was just one of those days where i could pracitcally feel the presence of God! So, so cool. It's just so cool too how Spring makes me happy :) Shows growth in the trees, flowers, grass, etc... and reminds me how much i want to grow in Christ. But i'm so ready... so excited to keep pursuing Him!

Random prayer that i thought was AWESOME!

O, Lord, whom to know is to love, I beseech you to increase in me the knowledge of your truth. In the truth which I know, establish me; whatever I ought to know teach me; in truths in which I waiver, strengthen me; in things in which I am deceived, correct me; in things hard to understand, guide me; and from untruths, deliverance. Send out your light and your truth, and let them lead me, until I know as I am known.Amen.
Common Book of Prayer

Life.

Without Him:
i'm useless.
i'm scared.

i'm un-settled.

i'm not me.

i'm a coward.

i'm so many more things... but i am nothing.

He infuses my life. He richly blesses, and He doesn't hesitate to teach me! 

This hillsong song... i'm not even sure what it's called. But basically i listened to it like 7 times in a row in my car today. i wanted to shut my eyes and lift my hands, but i think that's against the law when you drive :)

There is no one else for me

None but Jesus

Crucified to set me free

Now i live to bring Him praise.

i love those words!

Then there's this section:

All my delight is in you Lord. 

Jesus- i want to live to bring you praise! i'm so far from where i want to be... but He lavishes grace on me... wow. 

Not good... not bad... learning!

I see so much within me that isn't at all who i truly am.

He is so patient with me. How He does it, i do not know! i got so down this weekend. Because i see things i'm missing out on, because life is so different from how i imagined it. But i have so much to be thankful for. i do.

i love people. i would love to sit down with a stranger everyday and get to know them. Not just a casual How are you? But a true conversation. i'm genuine in my love toward people... maybe that's hard to tell. i'm not sure.

Oh... there's a new piercing i want really bad. It might be too weird though!

You'd think i would have stopped posting on here since no one reads it, but i enjoy it every so often. Especially when i'm overwhelmed with our Savior and want to get it out...

i was talking to a friend yesterday... it has been hard for me to see God in my life lately. Not only have i not looked like Him, but i decided that it would be cool to try to figure things out myself. That obviously did not work. Funny how after following Christ for a while i still make mistakes and choose not to trust Christ. i thank Him for His patience with me... and His grace. Where would i be without it?

I was just now reading in John 15...
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. vs.4

i am nothing without my sweet Savior... and i love that!

Meghan