Is it thursday yet?

I am sick. 

something that I'll admit, I am a very selfish sick person.

I like when people feel bad for me.

I can't smell anything, or taste anything.

Good news: 

I'm done with finals Tuesday and I cannot, cannot, cannot wait to go to KC 

and spend time with friends and my special friend. 

Other good news: 

I have a house for next year! A beautiful house. Thanks KK!!!

The only thing I'm not happy about? 

The weather. 

True story, I don't enjoy winter. 

I don't enjoy snow unless I can sit inside all day in front of a fire. 

Wait. . . December?
Is this a joke?
i mean, really? December?

Things i'm excited for:
My last final.
Going to KC for fun times.
SS '08 reunion!
Christmas!
Visits in Wichita from special people.
Spontaneous trip(s)?

i glanced at this verse today and was convicted.
i want to wait in great expectation.

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.
Psalms 5:3

ehh. . .

Trust.

Trust in the Lord.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding.

i am trusting the Lord.

Even there there is a scary situation in my life.

He knows what's going on.

What a relief.

"Worthy is the Lamb who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom
and might and honor and glory and blessing!"
-Rev. 5:12

Much like how Ella Fitzgerald shared w/ her
adoring audience that she had "Georgia on her mind"
i've recently had this verse on my mind.

It's good.

Wow, i'm the worst blogger ever.
My posts are ultra-lame.
Sorry folks.

Preserve Me.

Preserve me oh God, let not shame stand in my way.
I have no good apart from you.
But I keep running after broken cisterns that never satisfy.
Won't you open up my soul?
Preserve me oh God, write Your word upon my heart.
I have no good apart from you.
Your streams of mercy, You're never ceasing.
Your streams of mercy, they have no end.
-Preserve Me by Jordan Johnson

This weekend was so greatly needed and so encouraging.
i love the Lord's timing in all it's perfectness.
How great.

But Christ is all & is in all.
Col. 3:11

"Simplicity, purity and obedience to the Word will leave us
weak and powerless in the world's eyes because
we no longer can call upon our possessions and
privileged position as security."
-Brennan Manning

I am learning a lot about simplicity
and what the looks like as a follower of Christ.
Also, what that should look like in my life.
I don't want to count on anything but Christ
for my security.
He is teaching me what this looks like.
Exciting stuff!

oh no. . . i've checked out.

i am praying so hard.

Lord, wake me up!!!

i realized this weekend that have mentally checked out on school.
i have an intense case of senioritis.
i love manhattan.
i love my community here.
For some reason i'm just ready to graduate!!!

i know i'm here for a reason,
seizing each moment is a must.

Help me Lord.

Meg White

i wish my name was Meg White.
Because well i mean number 1, she is a very talented musician...
But the real reason is i REALLY love Ray LaMontagne's
song Meg White from his new album.
It's my fav.

So be aware, one day i may legally change my name.

Aside from that specifically, i wish people would
realize that i'd rather be called Meg than Meghan.
So there you have it.

Colo Spgs.

So praise God i hang out with a lot of friends that
have something huge in common:
spontaneity
So Saturday at 10:00PM we decided to head to Colorado.
Eventually at 11:45PM we got on the road.
And we drove on I-70.
Went to far.
Finally made it to highway 40.
Stopped the car on highway 40 at about 3:45AM.
Got out. Laid a blanket in the highway.
Looked at stars for thirty minutes.
**The most amazingly beautiful stars i have ever seen in my life. There were no cars, no lights anywhere. i saw 4 shooting stars. It was exhilarating.**
Got back in the car.
Made it to Colorado Springs at 7:00AM.
Went to Pikes Peak.
Took a nap in a park.
Ate lunch.
Tire problems.
Took three hours from Salina to Manhattan.
Came home.
24-hour trip to Colorado and back.
Totally worth it.


3When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?
Psalms 8

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Why, my soul are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, 

for I will yet praise Him,

my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me;

therefore I will remember you.

Psalm 42:5-6

Doodling during Ichthus=REVELATIONS!

Okay, seriously God, you are funny and awesome.

Today i was cleaning off my desk and was looking at some notes from Ichthus that i jotted down a few weeks ago... now, i am a doodler. i doodle no matter what.
Today the Lord used my doodle to speak to me!!!

For some reason i had written out this:
COME.
And it had a box around it.

Come! i know, so simple.
i know, i already know this!
But recently, i can't explain it... it's been hard to approach the Lord.
So i laughed to myself when i read this and i'm thanking God for His grace.

My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away, for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth ... They give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.
Song of Solomon 2:11-13

He already fought death for me.
Ahhh... i am refreshed.

So Jesus, thanks for letting me doodle in Ichthus... just don't tell John Schwartz

a few of my favorite things.

well, here are a few of my favorite things.

1. sending and receiving letters

2. learning spanish

3. making paper chain clips

4. Vanilla Caramel Bigelow Tea. If you haven't tried it, you should. It's delightful. 

i have a lot more favorite things, but school is screaming for my attention. yuck.

 The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. 7It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the LORD loves you. . . 

Deut. 7:7-8

This is what i need right now.

i need to know that the Lord loves me.

When i mess up, He loves me.

When i am struggling to find joy, He loves me.

Not because of ANYTHING i have done but because He sees "redeemed" written all over me. 

The Lord is faithful and i have to remember this.

He is SO forgiving even when i feel like i can't even lift my eyes to Him.

Thank you, Jesus!!!

Wedding in October. No, not mine!

so i'm headed to a wedding of a good friend this weekend...

it's going to be at a state park in Missouri

and it's going to look a little like this.

i have a feeling it's going to be the most beautiful wedding i've ever been to. Wanna know why?

1. i love, love, love autumn.

2. i REALLY love weddings.

3. Being outside is in the list of top 5 favorite things ever.

4. i really love doing things with my good friends.

People, when #1, #2, # 3 and #4 are combined. . . well, it doesn't get much better than that.

This is the gospel i am called to share and to live:

"You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor

You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore

When You could just be silent and leave us here to die

Still, You sent Your Son for us

You are on our side"

-Bethany Dillon

This is a picture of the fourteener that I've had the privilege of 

climbing three times.

At the peak of this mountain is where

i've had some really cool conversations with God.

i can't wait to go back. 

-Mt. Sneffels-

A mi me encanta mucho aprender español. 

Disfruto ir a clase cada día y siento como yo estoy aprendiendo mucho. Pero este semana he estado muy preocupada con mis clases de español. Yo quiero ser fluida! Pero que difícil es. Eh, este lenguaje es bonito. Hay así muchas ventajas a español y los otros lenguajes. Yo deseo mucho vivir en México o Costa Rica... un país donde yo puedo sumirme en la cultura, la gente y el lenguaje. Yo quiero practicar mas que yo puedo. Yo estoy segura que el Señor ha puesto este pasión en mi vida para un razón pero no puedo verlo ahora. 

Entonces hasta el día cuando todo está claro yo estoy feliz servir mi Dios. 

discouragement and doubt have been flooding my thoughts lately. 

i KNOW that the Lord is good. 

Slow to anger and quick to love.

My eyes are always on the LORD,

for He rescues me from the eyes of my enemies.

Psalms 25:15

Rejoice in our confident hope. 

Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

Romans 12:12

At times when i feel like i can't see the good

i have to remember what the Lord has done in my life.

Even if it's hard for me to see now.

The Lord loves me.

His daughter.

And that, i can never forget. 

Restlesness

i'll be so honest right now. . .
Sometime i get really frustrated with myself.
Frustration like this happens because i have such a restless soul.
i am sure that somehow and someway that Lord will use this in my life in amazing ways.
At times like these, however, it just stinks.
So on these days when i wake up and the first thing i desire to do is buy a plane ticket to some far away place, i am trying my darned hardest to put my hands out in full surrender.

"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
-Martin Luther

i am going to begin praying that i'll once again have the faith of a child.
Trusting that God's ways are always good.
Having faith the Lord will provide!

On a similar note, thank God for the Konza.

Hope is Coming For Me

I have yet to read a book that has spurred me on

as much as Practicing His Presence.

Looking over it again today. 

I've really been sensing the Lord in my life recently. 

I always do, but in one of those irresistible and joyous ways that I can't even begin to describe. 

I just want each moment of each day to be penetrated by the love of the Lord. 

1 John is still the cry of my heart. I want to love like that.

"Try to call Christ to mind at least one second of each minute. . . invite Him to share everything you do or say or think." -Frank L. (Practicing His Presence)

"We ought to purpose ourselves towards this end: to become in this life the most perfect worshipper of God we can possible be." -Brother Lawrence (Practicing His Presence) 

So joyous that the Lord extends patience and grace. 

He is good. 

11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,

but against the rulers,

against the authorities,

against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

13Therefore put on the full armor of God,

so that when the day of evil comes,

you may be able to stand your ground,

and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 6: 11-13

There have been some extremely real things going on in my life.

You don't realize how real spiritual warfare is

until it affects you in a tangible way.

Jesus- you have been given as a sacrifice.

i want to give up all the holds i desire

to have on my life.

Life doesn't make sense without you.

Prayer is Beautiful.
The Lord's children are
beautiful.
loved.
treasured.
reconciled and redeemed.

lead. me.

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
-Brooke Fraser.

There happens to be one verse that has seen me through so much... that the Lord has been tempted in every way that i have. i serve a God who can empathize with me and that... that is amazing.

Ichthus worship last night had me in tears. This line :

"Sons and Daughters of the Living God"
That got me. i needed that...
Then to hear the words:
"Oh Praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead."
Yes, the Lord showed up. The Spirit of the Lord is real. i know this.

On a very different note...
there's a new band causing quite the ruckus in Manhattan.
www.myspace.com/skatingwithknowledge

Peace.

Thank you Jesus for this weather.
It's beautiful.
-your daughter

He left the comfort of his throne to fight for victory.

Sometimes my heart hurts.
i can really and truly feel it hurting.
For many reasons.

*Satan has been getting to me. blah.
*Sometimes people don't give me grace. blah.
*i want a 4.0 and that means hard work. blah.
*i definitely hate letting people down. blah.

But i take a step back and i see my Savior.
i see how He is my grace. How he doesn't lead me into temptation.
And how He is my constant. And i truly believe this.
My soul is alive when I am in His presence.
When I choose to see Him in, through and around me, I become so alive.
And I can't explain it any other way.

This is why i can get up each morning.
Because i have a reason.
LOVE.
Love wakes me up.

Try as I may to chase another Lover,
I find there is, there is no other

All the other Lovers fade away 
Only YOU can satisfy 

And happy am I, to live a hungry life
And blessed am I, to thirst
My desire for You, it is my gift within
I am blessed, I am blessed among men!

- Misty Edwards

i'm so tired of chasing pointless things.

To live is CHRIST.

Instead, speaking the truth in love,
we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head,
that is, Christ.
Eph. 4:15

The Lord has been calling me to wake up.
To be bold for Him.
To speak truth...even when it's scary because it usually is.
To live the love that's been given to me.
And to consider all as loss but to follow Him.

i have been reflecting on this passage all week... 

so i'll share it with you!

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
2When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
   and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
   and the flame shall not consume you.
3For I am the LORD your God,
   the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Isaiah 43:1-3(ESV)

The Lord is so faithful.

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
i wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what i long for


When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray
And i want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
i still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So i whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tounge,
knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me


Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

-Brooke Fraser

i'm definitely going through a dry/scary time in my life. But wow.. He is still so faithful. 

 1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

 2 in you I trust, O my God. 
       Do not let me be put to shame, 
       nor let my enemies triumph over me.

 3 No one whose hope is in you 
       will ever be put to shame, 
       but they will be put to shame 
       who are treacherous without excuse.

 4 Show me your ways, O LORD, 
       teach me your paths;

 5 guide me in your truth and teach me, 
       for you are God my Savior, 
       and my hope is in you all day long.

This is the cry of my heart.

Psalms 25

God is changing my heart.

 He's showing me the power of prayer and showing me what that looks like in my life. 

i've been humbled. i asked for humility and i am in the process...

i had the privilege of hearing the author of "Red Moon Rising" speak today. i'm blown away. i think God is starting something in me right now that will change my life forever.

i can't wait. 

Satan frustrates me.

Makes me feel so 

inadequate 

unworthy

incapable.

i don't want to believe them. He knows though... he knows so well how to push us to our breaking point. He's devious... 

i can't get over the grace of God... i think about it all the time. 

He gives me my purpose. 

Whom have i in heaven but you!

"I walk before God simply, in faith, with humility, and with love. I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him. I hope that when I have done what I can, He will do with me what He pleases."  ... Brother Lawrence i have been reading Practicing His Presence. i feel an odd yet exciting urgency to live what Paul said in  1 Corinthians 2:2: For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And again i am so thankful for the grace of God.

i have read 1 John about three times in the last two weeks.

Each time there is a verse or two that GRABS my attention!

This time it was these two:

1 John 5:21:

 21 Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.

and 1 John 3:20:

20 Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

i love 5:21 because it is a continual reminder to have NO idols. For some reason it's easy for me to put things before Christ in my life even though i know ultimately He is the only thing that will truly fulfill me.

i love 3:20 because it's helpful to me, being a girl :) 

Even though i am NOT an outwardly emotional girl i still tend to rely on my feelings a lot... my emotions a lot. i LOVE this verse. God is greater than my feelings! It's encouraging. 

He is so constant. So faithful! 

SO GOOD.

p.s. http://www.myspace.com/cameronernst

 ( this is my friend cameron... you should listen to his music. He's good and i'm so proud of him!!!)

dang you emily.

The Game
Here are the rules:
1. the rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. each player answers the questions about himself or herself.
3. at the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. ten years ago I was doing...
well i was ten years old... this means i had no life, i played in the ditch outside my house all the time and i was a major tom-boy.

2. Five Things on Today's To Do List:
1. fly home.
2. spend much-needed time with my Jesus.
3. pass out cheap gifts from cali.
4. get sick from being on a plane.
5. drink cooooffee!!!

3. Things I'd do if I were a billionaire
i would pay off my loans... and give money away. and be cool... wow, these are the worst answers EVER. i hate this game.


4. Three Bad Habits...
1. i twirl my hair constantly.
2. i am a VERY aggressive driver.
3. i say about three phrases over and over without realizing it... it's annoying.


5 Places you've lived:
Andover, KS
Manhattan, KS
Overland Park, KS
North Carolina
Irving, TX
Baker, OR
Roach, MO

6. 5 jobs I've had in life:
1. JCPenney (barf)
2. Vic's Popcorn (best job ever)
3. OEIE (barf)
4. Adrian's Cafe (loved it... untill it got creepy.)
5. NewSpring Church (liked it)

Wow... i have no life.
But i did go to disneyland today.
woo

sun-kissed in cali...?

i was at the beach for two hours.

i never burn... i am a lobster.

It hurts to smile.

It hurts to sleep.

It hurts to do nothing.

And i'm a baby!

i am SOOOO thrilled... summer staff starts in two weeks.

As much as i do love these mountains, and the ocean

i still stop and am thankful for the openness of the Kansas plains...

i may be the only one who sees the beauty in them,

but seriously... it can be beautiful in Kansas!

i love the sun.

p.s. i'm looking for a bike... anyone selling one???

With Divine Retribution...

This is where i was yesterday... i'm in love.

i'm so overwhelmed right now. With summer staff starting in 2ish weeks

and just really missing my friends in Manattan...

i'm a little discouraged because i feel inadequate to be

a summer staffer. Yes, i love Jesus a lot and i know He'll use me, teach me, and stretch me in tremendous ways this summer... i think i just have cold feet.

Probably Normal.

On top of all these crazy thoughts going through my head i am told this week by a friend that places i have faithfully supported for years are getting their products from sweat shops. So i am caught in this weird, weird place where i know i don't want anything to do with these organizations anymore, but knowing that means it's going to be harder to get things, probably more expensive, and honestly a struggle! But how can you continue doing the same things you've been doing once you're eyes have been opened to these huge injustices?

So there's a lot on my mind right now.

i am going to die.

Ok... read this.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24190829/

i mean seriously... apparently the use of lip gloss can increase the risk of cancer.

This is scary for multiple reasons.
One reason is this:
** My lips are not small. Not only does it take more to cover my lips, but i do so enjoy using lip gloss as well. So now not only am i increasing my chance for cancer simply because i love it, but since my lips are so large i use tons.
Second reason is this:
**Doesn't help at ALL that my favorite song happens to be entitled "Lip Gloss." So now i'm not only concerned for my lips, but my ears as well. i'm now listening to the lyrics "lip gloss." Here's an excerpt:

"Mac mac Lorial yep 'cause I'm worth it
Love the way I put it on so perfect
Wipe the corners of my mouth so I work it
When I walk down the hallway they can't say nothing
Oh oh oh my lips so luscious
The way I spice it up with the mac mac brushes
Lorial got the most watermelon crushes
That's probably is the why these boys got crushes…
'Cause My lip gloss
Is popping is popping
Is popping is popping
'Cause my lip gloss
Is popping is popping
Is popping is popping"

And this is why today, my realization is:

i am a lot closer to dying than i thought i was.

that's what i thought.

1 Thes. 5:16-24

16Be joyful always;

17pray continually;

18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
19Do not put out the Spirit's fire;

20do not treat prophecies with contempt.

21Test everything. Hold on to the good.

22Avoid every kind of evil.
23May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

24The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.

This excites me.

It excites me because i have so much to work on and that

is what makes my walks with Christ so exciting.

His beauty makes me realize so much.

i'm excited to wake up to God.

Thrilled that He is patient, He is love, and He is grace.

Thankful that i am beautiful in His eyes.

i am complete in His eyes.

Test everything. Hold on to the good.

i like that.

To know Him and be known by Him.

He is good.

oh my dear mango...

Common food allergy reactions:

Hives, itching, or eczema
Nausea and vomiting, stomach cramps, indigestion, or diarrhea
Swelling of the eyelids, face, lips, tongue, throat, or other parts of the body (called angioedema)
Wheezing, nasal congestion, or trouble breathing
Lightheadedness, dizziness, or fainting

Swelling of the throat and difficulty swallowing
Difficulty breathing
Rapid pulse
Dizziness, lightheadedness, or loss of consciousness
Blue color to the skin and nails

i ate a mango popsicle. Probably the best thing i've ever eaten. Real mango.
i woke up the next morning and i thought i was dying.
No, i am not joking.
Yes, this is a true story.
i've had a lot of these symptoms... i'm still waiting til my skin turns blue. So until that happens, i guess i'll just keep eating mangos. mangoes? mangos... i think it's mangoes.

i'm sorry... i couldn't help but post this. poor kid.

i think it's so neat that God wants to use us in His work.
i mean think about that! He loves that we have dreams, goals, aspirations.
i have big dreams. i have faith that they will happen.

i love the konza. i mean love. like i can't describe it.

i'm going there tomorrow! and i am thrilled. THRILLED!

Jesus chooses to reveal Himself SO much through nature.

i love that.

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen,

being understood from what has been made,

so that people are without excuse.

Rom. 1:20

No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.

1 Cor. 10:24

i want to be selfless.

i want to be stretched.
i want to be broken.
these are SCARY things to pray for! But i am so confident that there are so many things Christ wants to do in my life, and i am nothing but excited about them!

i miss Manhattan soooo much. i cannot wait to be back!
i also can't wait for actual spring weather. it'll be great when it happens :)

so much bigger.

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior

Habakkuk 3:17 & 18

i'll admit it, life is pretty easy right now...

Yes, there have been situations lately that

have REALLY had me trust God and have

total faith in Him, but honestly, when times get rough,

which they will,

i want to be able to be joyful in God my Savior.

i want to be so grateful and soak in so much

of Christ now so when those tough times come

i can really be reminded of His faithfulness

does this even make sense?

i don't even know...

a friend of mine today

saw this shirt:

Christianity: It's a religion so f*** you and your make pretend "relationship"

think about that.

That's just convicting to me to actually live out what i'm "preaching," you know?
i don't know, it was powerful to me...

my portion.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:21-24



Funny how i find myself becoming anxious about things so quickly in life. i've been doing this great Bible study. One week we talked about the ways in which we give things to God.
For me the way i do this is i give things to God, then i take them back. But i know full and well that Christ knows exactly what He's doing in every area of my life!
i learned Phil. 4:6 & 7 last week... more like had it refreshed. (When you grow up in AWANAS you feel like you know the whole Bible. haha)
It was a great refresher though!
Be anxious about nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving present your requests to God. Then the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
i am so encouraged by this. And even with everything crazy that's going on in my life i am so at peace. i know that God will make happen what He wants to happen. And when He wants it to happen. Wow. God is so good!

i just want to trust you, Jesus.

i drove home in the thickest fog of my life...

Scary thick fog. Couldn't see but 3 of those little

dash lines separating the two lanes.

Then i almost hit 2 deer... it was scary...

i saw God in it though. Teaching me a lesson. He's constantly teaching me! I couldn't be more thankful. My trip just reminded me of faith. There are a million things going on in my life right now. Just so many areas where i have to trust Christ. i mean of course i don't have to, but does it ever make sense not to trust Him? NO! i could not see through this fog to see if i needed to turn soon, if the road was just straight, if there were deer in the road... haha. i just literally had to trust.

I want to trust Christ! I want to trust that I will:

*be re-admitted into K-State

*seize the opportunities that i am given this summer

*get all my housing situations worked out

*live every day for Him!

i just want to have complete trust. faith. hope.

It's possible!

Let me leave with these lyrics from Hillsong... AMAZING!!!

"Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I walk from nothing to earth into Eternity"

BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS!!!

Peace i leave with you;

my peace i give to you;

not as the world gives,

do i give to you.

Let not your heart be troubled,

nor let it be fearful.

John 14:27

There are just some verses that bring comfort. It's just a good promise, you know? i've been so encouraged lately. Which is interesting. i'm not surrounded by many Christians. i work at the restaurant with so many non-Christians. It's so challenging to me to live for Christ and strive to be a great example. It's so hard! But wow... yesterday, God was everywhere. It was just one of those days where i could pracitcally feel the presence of God! So, so cool. It's just so cool too how Spring makes me happy :) Shows growth in the trees, flowers, grass, etc... and reminds me how much i want to grow in Christ. But i'm so ready... so excited to keep pursuing Him!

Random prayer that i thought was AWESOME!

O, Lord, whom to know is to love, I beseech you to increase in me the knowledge of your truth. In the truth which I know, establish me; whatever I ought to know teach me; in truths in which I waiver, strengthen me; in things in which I am deceived, correct me; in things hard to understand, guide me; and from untruths, deliverance. Send out your light and your truth, and let them lead me, until I know as I am known.Amen.
Common Book of Prayer

Life.

Without Him:
i'm useless.
i'm scared.

i'm un-settled.

i'm not me.

i'm a coward.

i'm so many more things... but i am nothing.

He infuses my life. He richly blesses, and He doesn't hesitate to teach me! 

This hillsong song... i'm not even sure what it's called. But basically i listened to it like 7 times in a row in my car today. i wanted to shut my eyes and lift my hands, but i think that's against the law when you drive :)

There is no one else for me

None but Jesus

Crucified to set me free

Now i live to bring Him praise.

i love those words!

Then there's this section:

All my delight is in you Lord. 

Jesus- i want to live to bring you praise! i'm so far from where i want to be... but He lavishes grace on me... wow. 

Not good... not bad... learning!

I see so much within me that isn't at all who i truly am.

He is so patient with me. How He does it, i do not know! i got so down this weekend. Because i see things i'm missing out on, because life is so different from how i imagined it. But i have so much to be thankful for. i do.

i love people. i would love to sit down with a stranger everyday and get to know them. Not just a casual How are you? But a true conversation. i'm genuine in my love toward people... maybe that's hard to tell. i'm not sure.

Oh... there's a new piercing i want really bad. It might be too weird though!