.iwanttolearntobe
simplybecauseyouare.

sometimes things hurt too much to think about...
so i put it off
and put it off
and put it off.

Then, i think about them at the most inopportune moments.
This happened to me today during church.
i was sitting there, surrounded by people.
But all i could think of was crap.
Garbage in my life.
Life has been really confusing for me lately...
i feel like i'm spinning out of control.
i'm learning how to forgive myself.
i'm learning humility.

There are gross things in my life,
but my brokenness can only be offered back to my Lord.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
-matt. 5:3

i want to seek refuge in the mighty name of the Lord.

zeph. 3:5
he does no injustice;
every morning he shows forth his justice;
each dawn he does not fail;

.i'm a romantic.

Psalm 138:8
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.

i love knowing that the Lord has something
so much better for me than i could
ever ask or imagine.

i love when leaves come crashing down
around me on the way to class.

.i am a rescued child.

i recently came out of a really dark time in my walk w/the Lord.
Covered in sin and shame i literally chose to not approach the
cross, worried for some reason that i was too much of a burden.
But there is grace, PRAISE THE LORD, there is grace.
Glory to God that He works and moves. This passage so clearly
speaks what the Lord has done for me. So much so that I was blown
away when I read it yesterday. Thank you Lord!

¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.

¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Ps. 18:16-19

i can’t believe what He feels toward me.

constantly pursuing.

His heart burns for me,

burdens for me,

feels with me and rejoices with me.

He is love.

"The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him."
Lam. 3:25

maybe i seem cynical, pessimistic, sad, you name it. . .
i wear my emotions on my sleeve.
joy, despair, happiness, sadness.
Because why shouldn't we share these things, share ourselves in true form?

Maybe i'm wrong?

i need to stop paralleling my life to songs.

.after all i've done, You have loved me.

i think i'm going through a season of pruning... it's intense.

i'm going to be honest, i don't like it.

To be even more honest, it's hard for me to be excited for the good that will come from this.

"St. John of the Cross saw the dark night of the soul, not as an actual abandonment by God, but as an expression of His love, that helped perfect the soul by purging it of all of its remaining attachment to spiritual faults and earthly things"

One of the only things that has kept me going is this song "After All" by Jon Shirley...

i'm battling through many things. Jesus, be my rock.

i think i'll take chinese next semester.

i love carrots.

music makes me so happy.

i'm going on a trip soon.

my allergies are horrible.

apparently everyone will get swine flu at k-state this year.

wine class!!!!!

So many things to consider in life right now.
i want to be somewhere far away from the city and breathe.
i want to spend time with Jesus somewhere isolated.

i'm seriously considering a Meg-God weekend.
i think we'll do it soon.


"Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains"
-JJ Heller

My days recently:
Wake up.
Go to Spanish class.
Go to work.
Shelve carts of books.
Shift carts of books.
Shelve more carts of books.
Shift more carts of books.
Go to Swahili Class.
Go home.
Think about all the things I could do.
Work out.
Eat Dinner.
Go to sleep at 10:30.

What do you guys think about loneliness?

Do you struggle with it?

Is it normal?

I once heard someone say, the more you fall in love with the Lord, the more your soul will drift toward loneliness because it understands more clearly how we are so not made for this world.

For me, there's this fine line between being too dependent on people for happiness, entertainment, etc and a feeling of just completely drawing myself away from people and becoming far too independent and even reclusive.

Lord, teach me more about community.

Psalm 138:8
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.

Yesterday people thought I was a lunatic.

I floss normally twice a day. I brush my teeth three times a day.

I got 2 cavities. WHAT???

Anyways, I went to get them filled yesterday which left me not being able to feel from my chin, up to the bottom of my ears. But who knew it could be such cheap entertainment? I was literally in my car talking to myself and I would sporadically burst into laughter... It was a good day.

Guate, Guatemala.

I feel bad about being absoutely terrible at this blog this summer.

But, oh well?

Okay, so guatemala.

gorgeous.

From the people, to the scenery to the Lord.

It was all gorgeous.

What did i learn?

The most important thing I learned can be summed up by Psalm 121:3,

He will not let your foot be moved;he who keeps you will not slumber.

The Lord met me there. Not in extravagant, bold, flashy words. But a still, small prodding. He revealed Himself to me. Reminding me of the steadfast love that He offers. The same in KC as Manhattan as Xela, Quetzaltenango, Guatemala.

He has not fallen asleep.

He is present in my life.

I am seeing the Lord in a different light.

He will not fall asleep on me!

Lord, help me learn how to sing a new song.

salgo para guatemala en menos de 24 horas y estoy muy emocionada.

I will be gone for nine days and I am begging the Lord to show up
in crazy ways. I know that He will.

I know I didn't share yet what I mentioned in my earlier post, but maybe I will after Guatemala... plus I'll have tons of other awesome things to share!!!
Please pray for us while we are away.

Psalms 84:10
For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.

Okay, so i'm planning on posting SOON!
But i need to find my journal first because, yes!, i will be sharing an excerpt.
Get excited.

my heart is expressed

My grandma got to see Jesus

Saturday night. I envy her.

I haven't been able to express

my feelings or my heart lately . . .

Ecclesiastes has always resounded

with me. Especially this passage:

¹For everything there is a season,

and a time for every matter under heaven:
²a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

^{3a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up;}

^{4a time to weep, and a time to laugh;}

^{a time to mourn, and a time to dance;}

^{5a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;}

^{a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;}

^{6a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away;}

^{7a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;}

^{8a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.}

Thanks be to God.

i feel like i'm living my faith for the first time.
i have had a big wake up call recently.
faith is faith.
a lot/most of the time it doesn't make sense.

He's giving me dreams again.
Visions of what He wants for me.
Visions of a sold-out daughter.

Brooke Fraser:
'Cos if I add, if I subtract
If I give it all, try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact
That you are the sum
So you are the one
I want
-Arithmetic

This man's voice is perfect.
William Fitzsimmons.
He's better live.
His beard is magical.

"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!"

i found out that i am going to Guatemala this summer.

This is what i am most looking forward to >>>

Far away far away, I want to go far away

To a new life on a new shore line

Where the water is blue and the people are new

To another island, in another life

.allergies.

.all nighter.

.disaster room.

i cannot think straight and i'm leaving now to work here for the next 6 hours. 

i have never had such a hard time trying to force myself to appreciate school. 

i know it's a blessing but honestly, i want to be asleep and i want to be in KC.

Why yes, i am taking a break from school to write... thank you for asking. 

I found a homemade dress at Rockstar & Rogers for $4.

 The last 7 clothing items I have bought have been from there

 including a pair of Gap jeans that I found for $4 as well, and 5 sweet shirts.

Because of this store I have successfully spent $30 on clothing all semester. 

Good job Meg. 

Thanks.

Joe Purdy's voice makes me want to marry him

i wonder at least 7 times a day why i have a cell phone. 

1. i don't pay for it, dad does (sorry dad. . . . ???)

2. Our society was able to survive w/o cell phones for thousands of years.

3. If i want to ignore people it'd be a lot easier. 

4. i don't enjoy phone conversations.

5. i have begun despising texting. It's so impersonal.

i wish i had 7 reasons for every 7 times that i consider this daily.

Sadly, i do not.

P.s. i still prefer being called Meg. . . this should not be forgotten.

you have my attention.

Someone gave me a few barbies once. 

i almost threw them away but this week i've found multiple things they are good for.

1. Hanging her from the bunk bed=scaring your roommate.

2. Taking her to bluestem to hang out.

3. Taking pictures of/with her to brighten/scare people's days. 

5 days left of human needs=only 5 more days 

to be severely entertained by Ms Kellett's sweet-awesome outfits. 

5 days left of Spanish lit=only 5 more days

to act like i'm interested in the topic

so my teacher will keep giving me free A's. 

Hahaha, but seriously.

I always had a crush on Toby Mcguire when I was a kid.

Thank God for diana, em and katie and that I can talk about c-stopping.

Because sometimes censorship is overrated.
I actually think it always is, but that's another story.

I love elderly people.
I was at sonic getting a diet-cherry limeade (SO GOOD) and this precious lady was beside me and she kept smiling at me..... maybe there was something on my face.

hey liz finn, if you're reading this---come to Manhattan. thanks.

What if you're right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it's true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

³⁷For,"Yet a little while,
and the coming one will come and will not delay;
³⁸ but my righteous one shall live by faith,
and if he shrinks back,
my soul has no pleasure in him."
³⁹But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed,
but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.

Last night Ichthus was incredible.
If there was ever a time when I know something was so directed toward me, it was last night.
Praise God for that.

There was also a word: perseverance. . .

I wish I could claim Hebrews 10:39, I am NOT of those who shrink back and are destroyed.

I have a had a rough last few weeks. . . the best thing I am learning is how it is so okay to be honest. You're probably thinking I missed out on the lesson about being truthful, but it goes beyond that. We're a BODY of believers. When one part suffers---well, you know. So I am finally admitting it.

I don't have my crap together. Thank God when I am weak He is strong. Thank God that when I cried everyday last week He sees that and loves me.

He loves me. Oddly, that's not the easiest for me to accept.

I think I am becoming a more awkward person everyday. . . I think it's hilarious.

What am I the most excited about in the next few months?
School to be overrrrr.
Living at Colonial again.
Living 10 minutes away from IHOP.
Living close to my best friends again even though Liz is ditching me for Colorado.
A possible miraculous re-birth of the Jeep.
Prayer with Laura.
BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! Double birthday with Diana, my birthday twin. Holla.

Maybe this summer I'll get over my fear of public speaking.



yeah right.

100th post. . . 100th comment gets a prize. PSYCH.

Dear God,

Please don't forget about how much I love sun and summer. . .

Today 67° | 36°	Sunday 38° | 25°		Monday 40° | 23°	Tuesday 54° | 36°	Wednesday 65° | 41°

Love, Meg

Meaningful Letter

Dear The Weepies,

You are my favorite band. I listen to you everday.
Please make a new CD soon. . .

Love, Meg

Who was on America's Funniest Home Videos tonight, twice?

M
E
G
*
P
O
O
R
E

Hilarious, right?
I'm trying to find a copy of the video.
When I do, I'll post it!

i liked that i am independent.

i liked that i can seem like nothing ever bothered me.
i liked that i will always listen, hardly ever talk.
i liked that i have my own ways of handling life.

Now i realize that all of these have made me
hardened
more dependent than ever
run from everything
not know how to deal with things
push a lot of people away
sad

i am at that place now where the Lord wants me.
Where i know in my heart that a life without Him is no life at all.
Where my weakness is all i have.
Where the only word i seem to understand is surrender.
surrender meg, surrender.

Most people probably aren't aware that many things that we don't even think about

that we eat/drink/wear on a daily basis aren't made in the most ethical of ways.

But especially chocolate.

Did you know that Mars company that sells M&Ms, Dove chocolate, twix and snickers

cannot guarantee that their chocolate is "traffik free?" 

After many companies have seen this problem and willingly made huge changes,

Mars company has been putting it off since 2005. 

SLAVE LABOR for something we enjoy without second thought. 

I am not comfortable with that.

There's a non-profit that I am very passionate about called 

"Stop the Traffik." Based out of London, this organization

works to stop the traffiking of people and educates 

on products that you can buy instead and helping to educate

and fight for the rights of those who can't fight themselves.

I won't apologize for this plug, I know it can be touchy,

but I think people need to know.

stop the traffik 

So maybe I sound dramatic, but I kind of feel like an Israelite wandering through the desert.

Not really sure of anything but the promised land.

At times completely forgetting what God has done in my life up to this point.

Forgetting how He miraculously rescued me.

Luke Wood is a worship leader at IHOP, probably my favorite.

He wrote this song called Hosea and you should listen to it.

At least read these lyrics. 

 

good things.

I have come to give you life
And to show you how to live it
I have come to make things right
To heal their ears and show you how to forgive them

Because I would rather die
I would rather die
I would rather die
Than to take your life 

-Derek Webb

I really love this song and have been encouraged by it so much this week.

I really am not good at being a Christian. 

I am still learning that I am nothing on my own.

life is happening

I just finished my application for the Peace Corps.

It feels weird.

I'm getting ready to start/submit my applications for

• Teach for America
• LanguageCorps
• Moody Grad School
• And a few randoms.

Wish me luck. Or Blessings? 

guardian-sandra mccracken

i'm in a constant search for hope right now.

this song by sandra mccracken is what i want to hope in,
it hasn't been that easy for me though.

Hold on to me, when you are so tired
When you are so tired
Of holding up your head

Steady on your feet, I will not let you stumble
Will not let you stumble
I will not fall asleep

When you go out, when you come home
Like a hedge, like a shield,
I'll be your guardian

When you are afraid, look out to the mountains
Look out to the mountains
To the one who keeps you safe

You totes suck

Tonight while walking to the library to study for my non-ending test/paper week I saw these two guys dashing toward the engineering building. I wondered what he was doing but before I could contemplate too much he dives into these bushes. I then realize that he's chasing a (or do you use an?) opossum. So then he finds the opossum and starts kicking it SO hard. He kicks it like five times. . .and this opossum is getting some air. I mean the guy is wailing on it. He keeps kicking it and kicking it. I'm quietly walking by on the sidewalk but then I get really disgusted and I'm on the phone with my friend freaking out. Because then the guy kicks the opossum so hard and the opossum gets more air and then -smack- lands on the sidewalk and I'm almost positive it was dead. . .

So that's what happened on the way to the library.
SICK.

And then I called the forum, because what else do you do when you are an outraged college student?

click this for gooooooood music.

For Christ's love compels us

I wish I was so gifted with the use of words.
Words that could explain the restlessness of my heart .
If not words I wish I could explain through music or art-sometimes I feel so untalented.

I don't want to become angry with the world because it's where I am.
Now.
For a reason.

Pero en realidad es muy difícil para mi ver este mundo y ver buenas cosas. Yo veo un mundo que necesita Dios y no soy un ejemplo bueno de este amor. Muchas de las cosas en mi vida yo veo como cosas que no son necesarios como escuela, taca taca taca. Yo paso asi mucho tiempo con preocupación de mis notas y con tarea, clases, etc. . . Estas cosas se parece asi mundano. No deseo las cosas del sueño americano. No quiero una gran casa con un lexus y una piscina. Yo quiero una vida que lo grita el amor de Cristo. No quiero desperdiciar mi vida.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor. 13:13

As my spanish teacher said to our class today: "You over analyze everything!" Even though she was talking about our choice of ser/estar with past participles, adjetivos, preposiciones, etc. . . it was a good way to be reminded of life and the over complicating mess we sometimes find ourselves in. I've had a huge reality check this week.

Working at the library causes me to open many books a day to catch short sentences.

Today while I was shelving some books I opened the 2007 refugee journal and had my heart broken once again. Then I remembered the beautiful Somalian families and children we met this summer working with freedom fire. I am in the process of looking for Refugee organizations to work for after graduation. . . These kids don't have a home anymore. . .
Statistics say 8.4 million, and that's from 2006.
I'm not trying to be that commercial,
but seriously. . . think about that.

I need to learn that it's okay to cry. I know that sounds so dramatic and cliché, but I never cry.

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. ~Charles Dickens

I haven't been able to get something off of my mind today. . . 

A Piano.

I went to the Nelson-Atkins museum during Christmas break with a friend of mine. Walking through the photography part of the museum, I was taken back by this picture of a piano. It was taken in Spain, I believe, and the lighting is perfect. It's beautiful. I stood there and looked at it for five minutes and had to look at it again before leaving and now I cannot stop thinking about it. I wanna go back. NOW. Or this weekend.

Pointless post, but I love art.

music.

music does something to me that i cannot explain.

i will listen to any genre of music and will most likely enjoy it, unless it's on pop radio which generally just makes me mad. there is some music in my life that i can listen to and get really, really happy. such as:

1. horse feathers- i know, awful name, but i'm telling you. . . well i can't describe it, listen for yourself. Here.

2. margo may-yes, you probably know her. i can listen to glory, sweet glory and be set for the day. it's beautiful. her voice is beautiful. Listen! 

3. the new frontiers-although no longer together, i think their music is so great and has gotten me through a few days of working at the library. Give 'er a try. 

4. Soap&Skin- i will never apologize for my taste in music. EVER. This artist is pretty insane, but insanely good. i dare you to listen to her. Soap&Skin.

5. the welcome wagon-thank you, sufjan for helping other musical geniuses spread the love. love them. 

P.s. God is great. so great. so great. so, so great. 

What is love without much risk?

I cannot fathom the freedom that the Lord offers me but I am in love!
I had a really great weekend and saw a few very specific prayers answered.

He is so great.

You know what I am so excited for? SS '09 babaaaaay. . . and my birthday on June 8th. Same as Kanye. . . what, what?!?

P.s. I saw a trash truck on campus. . . it said refuse|recycling but I read refuse like refuse, not refuse. . . as though it was an ANTI-recycling truck and I was soooo confused until I realized it was refuse as in a synonym for trash and then I felt stupid and wondered why I'm in college. I think that was confusing. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Thursday morning happenings.

I absolutely love KSU's ability to produce wonderful people.

Today I saw a man in a kilt. 

I rate my day at a 103% because of it.

surreal elevator moments.

I had two really funny things happen. . . both having to do with elevators.

I work at the library and I was walking by this hallway. . . I look down it to see the elevator closing on what seemed like a scene from a murder movie. Two older people one man and one woman wearing trench coats down to the floor. The man was wearing sunglasses and the woman had her knee propped up, seeming to say "Make one move and I'm ready to come after ya!" And then the elevator door closed and I felt like I'd woken up from a dream, but it was real life. I swear.



Second thing. Talked to a very dear friend on the phone today and she was saying how much relationships frustrate her. She asked me how to keep a man around (I'm clearly the LAST person to ask about this) but nonetheless, I gave her the only answer that I will stake my life on. I said haven't you heard the Beyonce song? All the single ladies. . . she says the key is to put a ring on it. However, after getting on the elevator I realized I had very little signal. So I kept asking "Haven't you heard Beyonce's song?" and she would reply "What?" And I'd say it again louder. . . and I heard the guy to my right let out a HUGE sigh. And I think it was the longest elevator ride of my life. No kidding.



Oh Mondays. . .

I also saw the most LEGIT cowboy on campus today. It was intense. He was wearing a hankerchief around his neck. . . a real one, not a trendy one. And the way he walked was possibly more confident than a supermodel.



Yes. Funny Monday.

dreams of spring.

I remember my dreams every single night and my dreams are insanely vivid.

Because of this, sometimes I think it's comical to look at dream dictionaries

and see if I can't interpret a few things in my life.

Last night I had a dream that I was driving through Colorado and it was Spring!!!

There were green trees everywhere and I was so excited.

Spring

To dream of the season of spring, signifies new beginnings and creative endeavors. It is also a symbol for warmth, virility and fruitfulness.

I guess we'll have to see what happens.

That's a pretty vague interpretation.

spring. . . i smell you!

"What kind of computer do you have?" -my friend from texas.
"A MacBook."-me.
"I knew it."-my friend from texas.
"How?"-me.
"Because you're liberal."-my friend from texas.

Hilarious? Not sure.

Okay Profesora Sauter. . .
My least favorite teacher kept us over in class for five minutes.
She is crazy.
I cannot, cannot, cannot wait for tevals this year.

I guess you could say I'm falling.

So here are a few things that I can confidently say I love.

Etsy.
This is that one website that I will literally go and then an hour passes and I cannot believe it.
Last.fm.
A wonderful, wonderful website that, if you are in love with music will make your soul come alive. . . that may be phrased a bit intensely but at least you will get the point.
Daytrotter Session.
Please and thank you. Currently slightly obsessed with the band Husband & Wife.
Canvas Painting.
I have found there's little in life that can make me feel as free as a blank canvas and some paints. I am not an extremely gifted artist, but may I say that I feel like Picasso when I paint. I LOVE IT!
Sigur Rós.
Listen to them. Your mind will be blown.

Hope you love them too.

See that picture at the top of my page?
I took it at the konza.
I get to go there this weekend with
a wonderful friend and we are
going to picnic, and take pictures,
and take naps, and play the guitar.
It will be perfect.

Romans 1:20
For his invisible attributes,
namely, his eternal power and divine nature,
have been clearly perceived,
ever since the creation of the world,
in the things that have been made.
So they are without excuse.

School is hard.
I am bad at time management.
I looooooove my new job.
I am really trying to understand and apply the love of God in my life.
oh.life.you.are.funny.

i made some changes in my life. . .
then it was pointed out that i had un-consciously made a lot of changes.

1. Giving up "regular" stores for 6 months.
Reasons for this:
*I have recently been reading up and learning about how so much of what we buy is made so, incredibly un-ethically.
*Thrifting causes a person to explore creativity like never before!

2. Giving up dyeing my hair.
Reasons for this:
*When I realized I didn't know what my natural hair color was anymore, I realized it was time to stop.
*Not dyed hair=Not dead hair.

3. Writing at LEAST one letter a week, for 54 weeks. . .(are there 54 weeks in a year?)
Reasons for this:
*I know if I write tons of letters eventually I will get one back.
*I feel that writing letters is almost a stress-reliever.

4. No more piercings all year.
Reasons for this:
*Although it may not seem like a big deal I realized that since coming to college I've gotten a new piercing almost every 6 months. That is RIDICULOUS.
*Save money and be satisfied.

I want this year to be about living simply. My dear friend Ana does not realize how much she has opened my eyes to a simple life. I think the Lord honors it!

I know Walt Whitman may be a bit scandalous, but this is seriously probably my favorite quotation of all times:

"Simplicity is the glory of expression."
-Walt Whitman

Love you friends.

i've decided to share some strange things that i have eaten during my 20 years of life.

This, my friends, is a sweet mexican candy called lucas which is made out of tamarindo. Looks nasty, tastes sooooo good. I bought so many the summer that i lived in Mexico for a month.







Now this. . . could be making some of your mouths water. For me, however, I would rather eat those really good green beans from the freezer section. Mmmmm. I hate meat. I have never, ever tried meat that I've just been like oh, wow. . .that's soooo good. So if you one day help me accomplish that-kudos.













SUSHI!!! Sushi is one of my favorite foods in the world. The best sushi I've ever had is at Kona grill on the plaza and the best kind had a slice of raw salmon on the top. . . I'm telling you, it's perfection.





Last but not least. . . my favorite fruit that I'm allergic to.
Mango.
Best taste.
Best color.
Best smell.
Worst allergy.
I still can't talk about it w/o getting emotional.

Sometimes when I feel like I've 

fallen,

collapsed, 

displeased people,

been worthless,

I just crave to hear how much the Lord loves me.

When I read Song of Solomon I read part of it as a love letter from the LORD to me. 

When we are in our darkest times, the Lord constantly desires to lead us. 

Song of Solomon 2:10-13

10My beloved speaks and says to me:

"Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

   and come away,

11for behold, the winter is past;

   the rain is over and gone.

12The flowers appear on the earth,

   the time of singing has come,

and the voice of the turtledove

   is heard in our land.

13The fig tree ripens its figs,

   and the vines are in blossom;

   they give forth fragrance.

Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

   and come away.

God, thank you for your love and grace that I will never, ever understand. 

“Do the things you know, and you shall learn the truth you need to know.” Louisa May Alcott

I do not want to be an obnoxious blogger, but my day. . . seriously?

1. I cried in class. I never, ever cry. I cried in class. . . haha.
2. I fell walking up the stairs.
3. I got locked out of my room and had to pay $5 to get in.
4. Can't even touch on how unfit I am for my job.
5. Spanish quiz, what?
6. Yep, it's still winter.

I just need to say it. . .
I hate that some friendships fade and end.
The hardest thing EVER for me to understand is that some people are brought in our lives for a season. I have a hard time saying goodbye. Even though I am confident that the Lord is so good and knows what He is doing in my life.

On another note--went to a birthday party last night.
Pretty positive that this person's house is actually a meth lab.
Can I write that on my blog?
Hopefully I don't get questioned.
I mean I'm not making meth and for all I know they aren't either.
Okay I'm stopping.

OH KANSAS.

OH WINTER.

OH SPRING-COME!!!

I was so thankful for today! 

A beautiful break from 

single digit temperatures and a perfect

reason for a konza trip!!!>>>>> BEAUTY.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore.
Dream.
Discover.
-Mark Twain

i am a full supporter of this quote.

Slowly Changing. . .

i am about to be sooo trusting with whoever is reading this!

This was written in my journal,

i pray this over my own life. A prayer of perseverance, 

joy, brokenness and surrender. 

Within the matter of less than a week many things happened

that have caused me to lean into the Lord's arms.

And it has been beautiful. And hard.

I seriously have prayed once before that the Lord

would break me so that I would rely, and both

times He has surprised me with how literal it has been.

I have claimed a verse for this year and I love it. . .

Psalm 52:9

For what you have one I will always praise you in the presence

of your people. 

And I will hope in your name for your name is good.